Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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