my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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