Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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