So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
