just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Ladies don't puke and tell
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
