i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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