Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
