I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
