Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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