it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
