If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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