don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
