Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
