So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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