The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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