Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i think i just lost a toe
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
