i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Let's paint friendship bongs
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
