google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
