We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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