Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
