Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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