I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
