remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
