She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
