WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
