All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
