Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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