it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
