My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
