I hate your face
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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