I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
