How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
