Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
