That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
