Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
