Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
im holly from the hills drunk
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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