so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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