Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
