I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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