eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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