is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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