woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
