who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The best revenge is premature balding
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
