who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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