First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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