Whod you bang
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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