I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
