i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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