I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
