Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
